the Dragonfly

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Did you know that when dragonflies make love they create a heart. That I find very beautiful and magical. It must mean something I don´t know what.

I have a very special relationship to dragonflies. When I was a very young boy I visited my grandparents. Where they lived there was, very near, a dangerous place for children: a small creek. In the springtime it was not small for all the meltingwater and to make sure that grandmothers grandchildren didn´t go near the creek and the risk of falling down in the vater to drown she told us this story: “By the creek lives the dragonfly. If you come near them thay can, they WILL sew up your eyes and ears!”
Do you that we ever went down to the creek? Nono. I didn´t. I grow a fear for dragonflies. I got a phobia of dragonflies that is still, after more then fifty years, alive and active. I have tried to cure it. Once walking in the swedish mountains (fjällen) me and my wife was sitting in the heat of the sun on a hill when, suddenly, a dragonfly, decides to sit on my toe om+n my knee-boot. I decide to sit and wait for it to leave. I think this is my chance for cure. But. My heartfrequency begins to speed. My body begins to sweat. I am in total despair and I run away over the hill, away from the dangerous DRAGONFLY.
Today I find them beeing very beautiful creatures in many many different formations, colors and places but I cannot be close to them. True but sad. Although I have one as a tatto on my shoulder as a sign for me to overcome my fears. I think it´s a great place to have it since I can not see it except in a mirror but I know all the time that it is there.

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A lovepoem

She loved him. Boundless.
The words to describe her feelings was not enough. They were totally ineffective. Total without effect. As a useless weapon in the hands of a completely ignorant shooter. A water pistol without water. Cupid with bow without string. David with a sling without stone. A rhetorician without voice. An artist with no paint and brushes. A politician without a program. She searched for words that could detach her from this    indescribible tyranny. Finding words that could get her emotional target to understand the monumental emotional storms that passed inside her when they looked at each other. They also had their own native language and the knowledge of the other’
s were not well developed, neither to speak nor understand, they stood like two strangers and did what no spoken language was needed to.
They kissed each other.
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An act of love!

I have been very clear to my wife that I wish to buy my clothes myself. Among our friends it’s very common that “she” looks for and buys what he’s wearing. I have been clear that I want to do this shopping myself. She has often had views regarding my choices and I ask for respect for my choices wich she respects. Today M came home with a cardigan. At first I thought “no, please no” but giving it a second thought I thought that it was an act of love. She was in the shoppingmall when she sees this cardigan and she thinks of me and that it would suit me fine. She thinks of me! :-). That makes me think it’s an act of love. One way of showing love. What do you think?

– (some of) my dreams –

– I have a dream that I someday will write and publish a bookImage
– I have a dream that I someday will be volunteer in a foreign country
– I have a dream that I someday will walk Camino de Santiago as a whole without a break 
– I have a dream that I someday will be able to show my true self in every possible situation
– I have a dream that I someday will have peace of mind and be content with what life comes with
– I have a dream that I someday will stop judging
– I have a dream that I someday will not know where my self begins or ends
– I have a dream that I someday always will give without asking for anything in return
– I have a dream that I someday will give love without demand
– I have a dream that I someday will be part of a forcefull global stream of people making our earth to the heavenly place it is in it’s right to be