Responsi(a)bility

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Today I have been thinking of this word. When I began I thought, in my lack of englishlanguageknowledge, that it was spelled Responsability. My spelllchecker corrected me, “RESPONSIBILITY my friend”. But, anyway. I didn’t want to let go of my first idea so I continue my mindwondering of the word: ability to respond, to give respons, to react. (If there us a better word for it that you anglo speaking would use I’ll be happy to learn).
Here I go. What it stands for? In my own respect and in the respect of others, my follow humans. The word it self. Responsi(a)bility. Ability to give and take respons. Respons to what? In my own respect, my ability to respond to my feelings, emotions, reactions, pressure, cravings, needs etc. To be able to notice these different sensations in my body, soul and mind and react in, for me, a positive way and without hurting anyone else.
In respect of others to give my sincere opinions with full respect to others and myself. To see that others reactions (on me) is a mirror of their self, as derived from from their lifehistory and Please dont confuse my own self and lay it up on me (it will be a heavy load to carry). My responsi(a)bility is to keep the others, negative, reactions out of me, not to infect my self with their short coming, anger, fears and lacks. To be fully responsible for our reactions is the only way for us to change anything. If the reaction is on something I did or someone else did doesnt matter. I can not change anyone else. All I can change is my self. To change the World, in small or in big, I must start with my self. I must always start with my self. My reactions, my behaviour, and this is the big big oppurtunity. How I react is a mirror of how I See the World. How I look at the World around me, if I see it in white or black. If I begin to se the World in another way it is the beginning of the change. I can change the World. I am an important part in it. The most important part really. In my life great tools are meditation, yoga and I practise selfcontrol, mindfulness and bodycontrol, breathing, awareness and mindfulness.
That’s all for today.
/Sten
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To my heart

 

...in the flow...

At last
I recieved
the message
telling me to come

Been waiting
and worrying
imagining
what will be

What will be
I have no clue
I will be aware
I will be aware

My faith is strong
can´t go wrong
have trust
have trust

At last
I recieved
the message
telling me to come

It is near
in time
It is near
in me

My heart
I can hear you
beating
my life

My heart
I can feel you
giving
me life

Tears come
Words fail
So close
So close

At last
I recieved
the message
telling me to come

Surprised am I
never would imagine
me
like this

Trembling
Fragile
Humble

Grateful
Thankful
Thoughtful

Hesitative
Prudent
Tender

Let it come
let it be
follow
accept

/sten

Cityretreat

This sunday I took part in a city retreat in Stockholm. IMY, the institute for Medicinsk Yoga. The theme was yoga, chakrabalance. The seven chakras and moves for balancing them.
I arrived in good time before the start. After paying the fee I found a place in the room on a nice, new, woolblanket. As I lay down with my eyes closed I listen to the other participants arriving.
Prompt nine o’clock Sara begins guiding us through the day.
First of all we find our breathing. Filling our belly and chest all the way up to the collarbone in a deep, deep breath.
Sitting in simple yoga position we begin balancing the chakras.
1 Root
We start rotating the hip clock wise. Breath in when rotating to the right and breath out även we rotate the second half of the circle. We do this one/two minutes then the same counter clock wise.
2 Sexual
Now we sit on our knees with our heels under the bottom. Hands holding the front wrist. Then begin flexing the spine. Breathing in while flexing forward, breathing out while flexing backward.
3 Belly
Still sitting on the knees and our hands on the thigh we flex the spine. Breathing in and out flexing forward and backword.

These three chakras are very important to have in balance since they have a big influence on the other chakras.

4 Heart
For this chakra, that works like a connection between the first three and the last three, we lay our hands on the shoulders with the fingers facing front. On breathing in, rotate the body to the left, breathing out, rotate to the right. Don’t overdo the twist. It mustn’t hurt.
5 Neck
For this chakra we imagine having a chalk on our jaw drawing circles. First small circles getting bigger and bigger. Breath in the first half and breath our the second half. Change direction.
6 Third eye
For this chakra we stand on the knees and hands flexing the spine. While flexing down we breath in and the face looking up. Flexing up look down and breath out.
7 Top
For the topchakra, interlace your fingers and place them above the crown of the haed. In this position begin the “breath of fire” and continue this for one to three minutes.

This was the great part of the cityretreat. We also did a gong meditation, and we used the voice.
The retreat was all in silence. I bought a twelve week yoga program developed by Sara. Four CD’s. I will use that to start practising yoga as an everyday practise. Research says that short yoga sessions everyday is better than few long sessions. Then I have my hatha-yoga class on wednesdays and saturdays, and the short sessions following Sara’s CD instructions.

I feel grateful and happy to have found and connected to yoga, giving me energy, openess and a flexibel body, soul and mind.
/sten

Mountains to climb

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I know now that I have a Mountain to climb. It’s a very big, steep and high Mountain. Presently Im at the very start of this camino. It’s not Camino Frances, It’s not Camino Norte. It’s camino Cuerpo y Alma. Where Im now I walk along calm streams where I can dip my feet. In Woods of eacalyptus trees. Branches from unknown bushes swipe my face now and then. It’s Most uphill, not to steep yet, and flatland where I can see far along the path and a few downhill parts. Not always the easy parts as here I can stumble and fall. I will stumble and fall. I will need company. I will need to talk. I will need compassion. I will need water and rest. I can imagine whats on the other side, pass the top. At the end of this part of the camino. A serene place, camino, where I can rest. Where I can lay me down and rest. Lay me down in the fields of gold watching the sky, following the clouds as they move and change. I will have very steep parts. I will be in doubt if I will make it. Then I’ll sitt down. Reflecting. Watching the view, enjoying the wonderful landscape. Thinking over whats important. Carpe Diem my friends. Tomorrow may never come. Today is only today. Be greatful for every breath you take. Be greatful for opening your eyes beeing able to see. Be greatful for this day.
/Sten

Waiting. Still waiting.

A couple of weeks ago I recieved a message from my doctor. A message telling me that my heart, propably, will need to be repaired. One of the Cardiac valves does not close properly.  Now I’ve been waiting and waiting for the next step. To hear something, anything from the hospital but It’s been all silence. It’s not the silence worrying my, It’s whats happening inside me that worries me. Anxiety. Thoughts. Questions. Should I call? Wait? How bad is it? What I notice, already, is a small change of mind. More of Carpe Diem! Catch the Day. That’s good
🙂 I think. So. Maybe all is for good. A chance for change. /Sten-Ove

This Blog 2014!?

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It´s become 2014. The year 2014. 60 years ago, in december, a babychild is born (me). Last year I became grandfather to a boy – Melvin – http://melvinochpappan.wordpress.com/ – and the blog had been running for a year (in september). The first post that I wrote visiting a healthcenter – Österåsen sanatorium – over a weekend. My wife was attending a weekendpaintingcourse and I was having two days relax.

This year feels like a year of big happenings.

  • My 60th birthday in december. Today I have no idea on how to celebrate this occasion – if I will and if how, I have no idea.
  • My Caminowalk. I hope and will strive for that during the summer 2014. Most propably along the Camino Norte that I bagan last year going from Irun to Bilbao. I will follow, day by day, My Camino de Santiago, Nev walking from Prague to Santiago, beginning on christmas day 2013.
  • My health. In late december I was on a routinecheckup for my heart. Three years ago my doctor heard a heart murmur. We have been following this for three years every six months and it has accelarated. We are discussing an operation this year. If this becomes a reality you will surely hear from me here.
  • Yoga and meditation. Is connected to my health. My aim for this year is to do more of this. The 19th of january I will visit Stockholm for a chakrayoga day. My vife and I will keep on going to the mondayevening meditations. I will keep reading/following Amanda Green Yoga, The approximate yogi.
  • Minimalism. I will continue clearing clutter, reding blogs, books and  papers.
  • My Blog. Until now I have been using the free wordpress blog tool. In february I aim to migrate it to here. This will give me more facilities, tools and posibilities to adapt the blog the way I want and be able to connect even more.
    I have a new domain – http://www.trynomore.se – with this service provider (one.com).
    I send my gratitide to my daughter for help in this matter.
    So. For you following me and everyone else reading “trynomore”, keep on following/reading and you´ll know when to change. 

Welcome to my 2014!

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