I have been saying to myself-work less. But I have been unsucessfull in my ambition. Until now. I made the decision to take one day of and work four days a week giving myself a three day weekend. To begin with. To write and keep up with my decluttering. I am proud.
To communicate? Not much as this story tells. I was in Roamania on a schoolvisit. A visit over a coulple of days to the Carpathian mountains was planned. We travelled in a minibus, schoolchildren, teachers and the driver. The trip went uphill over peaks and down in valleys. Wonderful sceneries. Through old villages. Visiting the city of Vlad Tepes – “Dracul”. Our host had planned an overnight stay in a city in Transylvania. On arrival to the city it was already dark and the snow was the only light. As for the hotel it was locked and no one to see in the reception. After minutes that seemed like hours we finaly got our keyes and entered the rooms – exept for me and the driver. We were the only men and our rooms were not ready and still cold. We got a small space where we spent some time together. Time crept. The driver only spoke romanian and I only english. We sat and we sat. On the bed. Thinking. Finaly I got my self a pen and a small piece of paper. With these tools we began a communication I will remeber all my life. We drew our lifes to eachother. Our families. Our dreams. Our houses, where we lived – we used the arts for communicating when we had no spoken words. I these days when technology is everywhere I often come back to this experiance. I feel safe knowing that if and when technology or by any other reason I cannot speak I always have that other ways of communication – it bacame very clear this day. At last we gor our separate rooms. With a stove and a warm bed.
What if there’s no fish in the in the sea? What if I never will capture anything during fishing? What if I will return with nothing in my basket? I have a sense of something underneath the surface – something worthwhile. Something that might give value to me – and others. I throw the fishing line. I see the bait drop into the water and the ripples flow moving out across the bay. What’s underneath? What’s hidden in the dark, cold and wet environment? What happens if I get brave leaving the beachfrontfishing and go out to the deep waters. Into the black unknown. Where the understreams are dangerous, carrying unknown, strange species. What if I my catch will be big and rewarding, will I be brave to land it and bring to my fellows? Will I be brave, sharing it to the world? Questions questions will be answered when I enter the ship and travel into the unknown.
Today I made one important step on the path realizing my life. I will be free one day every week. It will give me the opportunity to write, reflect and collect my own interests. Do more what I find important. Spend more time in my universe. Develop new skills. That’ll be fun.
Disappointment broods within.
Threatening to rupture soft surface.
Breed with black.
A monster is born.
The monster that destroys.
Carrying the fetus.
Twist it around.
It filles with warmth and forgiveness.